Gifts on the Street

July 24, 2009

Today, I was walking the streets of Golden, Colorado where I'm house sitting. It's Buffalo Bill Days which means the streets are closed off downtown and a lot of people are milling about looking at jewelry and buying turkey legs from vendors.

I had just met up with a new friend for tea and was on my way home when a stranger noticed me and started talking. He reminded me of my dad at first. I think it was his kind blue eyes. Right away he started talking about how he lives alone in Golden and works for Coors as a technician where he's been for over 20 years. He's looking forward to retirement in just a couple more years.

He said he's looking to date people but not ever get married again because he already tried that once and it didn't work out. They were together 17 years when they split up. It's been 10 years since the divorce but he still started crying when he told me about it today. He said she took a lot of money from him in the settlement. He thought she was the love of his life, and now he feels he is too old to trust anyone again. Not enough time.

He talked about his younger days, growing up in Houston and fighting gangs on the street. He talked about his first love-empty beer cans in the back seat of his car until he pulled over on the side of the road and slept until the morning. He says he still thinks of his first love every now and again but it doesn't bother him like it used to. Looking at his face, I could see the redness, the ruddy splotches and capillaries showing on his nose. Telltale signs, but maybe it's what keeps him going. Maybe it's what made her leave.

He regrets not having spent more time with his two kids. All those years working nights at the Coors factory and sleeping in the day when the kids had their baseball and soccer games. I wonder if they realize how much he wishes he knew them better.

So now, he looks forward to fishing on a lake somewhere. He says although he only talks to his four sisters once a year or so, he knows they'd do anything for each other.

His words of advice: stick up for yourself because if you don't stick up for yourself who will you stick up for? Know your limits: if your boss tries to promote you to a position for which you know you'd be incompetent at, don't take it. Learn from your past but take each day anew.

He was a high-school drop-out but after working at the factory 7 years, he was in charge of a lot of people. He said even though he knew what he was doing, he felt stupid around those other guys so he went back to school. He said it was the hardest time for him-working 8-9 hour days and taking night classes for 2-3 hours a night with a wife and two little kids at home.

He told me a few times how much money he makes and how much he'll be making in retirement. He says he wishes sometimes that he didn't spend so much of his life on work. There are things he realizes now that he missed out on.

I told him I had to go and asked if I could give him a hug. He said he really needed it. I could tell, that's why I wanted to do it. Touch is powerful and healing. He said it felt really good to get some of that stuff off his chest. I told him I appreciated him trusting me enough to tell it. I said it was a gift to me as well, and I meant it.

Tonight, I was just in a peaceful space. It started with the nice meeting with the new friend at the coffee shop. He was full of compliments for me which as much as I want to stay balanced about I must admit felt really good. From there, I guess I was just more open, more smiley, I could notice a lot of people saying hello as I walked the rest of the way home.